Hi Guys, it’s me, Cheeky Monkey HD.com, here and you join the action just as Cheeky Cat 1080p, Daft Dog 4K UHD and myself are gathered around CC1080p’s food bowl/transdimensional portal.  We decided to stay a safe distance away, but, since we don’t know what that would be (having never previously dealt with a gateway to another world), we just guessed at around 15 cm.

The portal manifested itself as a cone¹ of purple, sparkly energy, slowly rotating to properly show off its sparkliness.  The cone was the same diameter as the bowl at the bottom, about a metre in diameter at the top and roughly half a metre high.  If you looked into it closely enough, you could see past the purpleness and into the vast swathes of countryside beyond.  We sat in silence for a while; I was mainly wondering which would be the most appropriate of the emergency services to phone.  It was DD4KUHD who broke our reverie:

“So, are we going through there, or what?” 

CC1080p and I looked at him.  We both knew he was daft but did we know he was this daft?  Yes, we did.

“I don’t think so, pal,” I said. “That would be madness.”

“Mow,” agreed CC1080p.

“But have you seen the fields through there? And there are so many trees that I could wee on. We’ve got to go. We’ve got to go now.”

CC1080p and I looked at each other: he had a point.

“Let’s just say that, in theory, we went through,” I postulated. “Do you envisage us taking a picnic with us?”  

“I am deffo taking a picnic with me.  Well, you have to make it and take it for me.  I like chicken, and bones, and dog chews.”

“Interesting,” I continued. “And would you foresee that my bit of the picnic would have a nice bit of chocolate cake for my afters?”

“That’s what I was thinking,” he replied.

Wow. This was one persuasive dog.

“Cheeky Cat 1080p,” I said. “Have you got anything to add?”

“Mow,” she said.

“Can you translate please?” I asked DD4KUHD.

“What she said, right, was that it would be great to go through there because there might be mice she can chase.”  As she didn’t swipe at him, I assumed he was telling the truth.  It was decided, we were going through.

“Ok, guys,” I declared. “Let’s make that picnic.”

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Footnotes:

1. It was actually in the shape of a frustum of a cone because the point was effectively sliced off.  But I didn’t know it was called this until I googled it, so I assume you didn’t either. It was easier just to stick with ‘cone’.