Hi Guys, it’s me, Cheeky Monkey HD.com, here, and welcome to the second chapter of my very first light novel. You’re very welcome to sit down, take a *chill pill* and slip deep, deep down to luxuriously relax amongst my viscous words. (An experience something akin to taking a bath in textual treacle).

I personally would have liked this deuxième chapitre to focus on a) an inciting incident, b) a memorable event and/or c) a captivating utterance .  Unfortunately, I have been out-voted on the matter by the other members of my core leadership team. Apparently, it’s “a matter of life and death” that I introduce the key cast members of the story before we can have any actual story for them to become the key cast members of.

So, here I go:

I am Cheeky Monkey HD.com.  I am a guy.  I am a millennial.  I am a Youtuber (or ‘Tuber, as us millennials refer to ourselves).  I am the star of my own webcomic (It’s Me, Cheeky Monkey HD.com).  I am a former mobile gamer, enjoying such titles as SimCity BuildIt and Minecraft. I know one of the Angry Birds (and would regard him as a close friend, actually).  I am a being of pure light and peace, although I am embroiled in bitter feud with Mr Anthony “Iron Guy” S***k. I am a rock. I am not ‘The Rock’.

My constant companions, and co-stars of all my adventures, are Cheeky Cat 1080p (my cat), and Daft Dog 4KUHD (my dog).  They are the best cat and dog in the world.  Although I haven’t proved that scientifically – I’m not even sure about how you’d go about doing so – I have enough confidence in my superior intellect such that I could surely only be able to give a completely objective opinion on the matter.

Cheeky Cat 1080p is 17 years old, but, thankfully, she hasn’t gone through a rebellious teen phase.  It’s hard to tell with cats because they act ‘too cool for school’ at the best of times (which isn’t a massive issue as cats don’t have to go to school).   Despite her advanced age, she still has the appearance of a kitten (i.e. tiny and cute).  She says that she’s now on the second of her nine lives and that, as such, she is functionally immortal.  I don’t know exactly what she means by that, but it is certainly a relief.

Daft Dog 4K UHD is 4 years old.  He believes himself to be the biggest, strongest and fastest dog in town, but he has yet to show me any evidence to back this up.  I am happy to relay the information to you all, however, as he will just moan at me if I point out that he is a Maltese-Shitsu and so it is unlikely that he is correct on any of the criteria. 

For story-telling purposes, it is somewhat convenient that Daft Dog 4K UHD speaks English/human, cat and, presumably, dog.  Cheeky Cat 1080p doesn’t speak English so DD4KUHD has to translate.  I suspect that she can speak English, but just doesn’t want to.  She’s a cat.

There are other subsidiary characters, such as my little sister Emma, but these people aren’t very important and I will describe them should they happen to show up in the adventure.  I hope they don’t, in a way.

So, I think this is all you need to know before we get started with the actual adventure that we’re going to have in this book.  I’ve probably forgotten something really important, but I will just fill you in when and if something does come up.

Let’s go!

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