A foghorn sounded.  It wasn’t foggy in the battle area, but there was a thick mist smothering the floor like the proverbial blanket of despair/duvet of doubt (as established in the previous chapter).  In fact the foghorn, despite its name, wasn’t related to the prevailing weather conditions, but was rather a signal.  A signal that, quite literally signaled the start of a fight: 

Iron “Anthony Bighead Stark” Man Vs.  Brucie “Hulk” Banner.

By all accounts, Stark had absolutely no chance, but his overwhelming arrogance refused to acknowledge the inevitability of his defeat.

“Ha ha ha,” he said.  “Once I’ve beat up the Hulk it’s your turn to brew up, Spidey.”

“Get lost,” replied Stark’s reluctant team-mate, Spider-Man.  “I made the last one.”

“Stop prevaricating, Stark,” interjected Cheeky Monkey HD.Com, this renegade outfit’s fearless leader.  “Get out there and get fighting.”

“YEAH,” exclaimed a booming voice from the other side of the Pummel Pit. “HULK WANT TO BEAT UP PUNY STARK LIKE A RAG DOLL, BUT A RAG DOLL WEARING METAL SUIT.”  It was the Hulk, clearly tired of waiting for the scrap to begin.  A flurry of sparks began to emanate from Iron Man’s armour. He had wet himself and caused an electrical outage.

“I’m going to have to go fix this,” said Tony, his voice quivering.

“No chance, Stark,” replied Cheeky Monkey HD.Com. “Get fighting.”

But before he could wriggle out of it, the Hulk had punched Stark squarely in the head.

“COME ON THEN,” shouted the Green Goliath.  “COME AND HAVE A GO IF YOU THINK YOU’RE HARD ENOUGH.”

“But I don’t think I’m hard enough,” exclaimed a woozy Shell Head.

“At least try,” said the Wall Crawler.  “You’re supposed to be a hero.”  Cheeky Monkey HD.Com chuckled at this wry comment from the Web Head. To everyone’s surprise, the jibe seemed to spark some life in the usually louche Iron Man.  He set off the rockets in his jet-boots and careened directly at the Hulk’s nose.

“OWWWW,” cried out the Gamma-Infected Beast.  “DAT REAWWY HURT DA HUK’S NODES. I GID UP. I GID UP!”

Apparently the Hulk had just conceded defeat. It was a turn of events so surprising that the eye-holes in Spider-Man’s mask actually got bigger; and technically that isn’t possible.

“Yessssssssssssssss,” gloated Stark, like the ungracious idiot that he is.  “I am the Champions, my friends.  And Iiiiiiiii’ll keep on beating the Hulk, until the end.”

“Shut up, Tony.” chastised Cheeky Monkey HD.Com.  “There’s something fishy smelling here, and we’ve not even been to the chippy yet.”

“Absolutely,” agreed Spidey.  “There’s literally no way that you could beat the Hulk, Anthony.”

“YES HE DID.” contradicted the Hulk.  “AND HE DIDN’T GIVE ME ANY MONEY TO LET ME WIN. HONEST.”

“Shut up, Hulkster.” said a crimson-visaged Stark.  “You’re ruining everything.”

“Oh Tony,” said everybody else.  It had been nothing more than another example of “Typical Tony.”  Everyone shook their heads and tutted.  It was a disgrace.

“Well, technically, it was a win, ” said Cheeky Monkey HD.Com.  “So it’s definitely your turn to make the next brew, Tony.”

And they all laughed at Tony.

The End?

Well you might think this is the end, but this is Contest of Champions and there’s always another fight to be had. It’s very much to be continued…

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